


A way out

by kawaiipugzx



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Gun Violence, Mild Gore, One Shot, Sad Ending, Suicide, The Author Regrets Nothing, This is just sad in general, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, im a bad person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 19:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16290215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawaiipugzx/pseuds/kawaiipugzx
Summary: Everyone dies eventually, some earlier than others.Steven had to learn this the hard way though.





	A way out

**Author's Note:**

> I 100% recommend you listening to 'the walking dead sunshine' while reading this. 
> 
> TW: suicide underage death

Shadows cast over the woods, myriads of leaves blown across and through the air by several gusts of wind. Logs, fallen trees, branches and so on sprawled across the ground left there without any help from the public to move them. In a particular ally dark area of the woods, a boy aged fourteen is perched upon a rather outstretched log, his hands visibly shaking and his breath being drawn out in long, uneven hitches.

Not averting his eyes from the ground, plush fingers wrap around the gun resting in his hand, his head lowering further downward to analyze the device in his hand.  
\-----------------  
He was taught to use a gun by one of his carers, garnet. A tall woman, curvy frame and hair that would explode into curls with just an ounce of humidity. He remembered the warmth of her hands on his ears as he shot, and not exactly the best shot should he say, at the line of green tinted bottles which most likely contained rum drunk by homeless lunatics trying to stray from what really is their world. 

Garnet was his groups leader, the calm cool collected one who always brought the group to its senses and put others before herself. She was a sucker for live and peace in the group, but it was like a rare meat seeing as how many dilemmas the group faced. 

The first death hit their pack hard, it just so happened to be Stevens mother, Rose quartz. Just days into the outbreak, Rose was to give birth to her child, but to bring him into the world, she had to leave. 

He remembers walking into whatever area pearl slept in, to see her face scrunched up and eyes full of tears as she mourned over the lady she once loved. 

Sometimes steven cried too. 

Pearl always told steven the only things she ever processed in that moment was her tears, a gunshot and a blood curdling cry from the infant. 

Alot of the time steven felt at fault for the groups down fall, for not long after his father packed his bags and not even looking back left the shelter hoping to take refuge elsewhere, so steven was left with his new carers. 

Steven was only seven when he witnessed the first death of the group, Lapis lazuli, most likely just hid her mid twenties. It was really just a shock in the moment thing, they were fleeing from walkers in that moment, but lapis had delayed herself, yelling to the group how she couldn't do it anymore, and lead herself to the walker herd herself, the next moments were filled with the groups screaming and pleads for the woman to return, but after that steven just felt pearls hands on his eyes and just a spilt second of vision showed jaspers on Connies. 

Connie was a sweet girl, steven loved playing with her. When the two were together they almost forgot the horrors of the world they lived in and relished those moments. 

The next two years took a slow toll, but it only took a drastic change after Connie disappeared into the woods. 

She was influenced by the adults, who were always off into the woods to hunt for dinner, and being only seven, an adults actions captured her greatly. 

The week she was missing was just tension and stress in the air, barely anyone was present unless on guard duty if they were searching for Connie, and steven spent the week holed up in his room is silently praying for her safe return. 

Such a thing was never going to happen, as a week after, the group were at the woods again, firearms in hand and tension waves hitting the air over and over again. The stress inducing cracks and pops of the leaves on the floor as muffled walker sounds came from the woodlands, arriving closer to the daylight and in exposure of the group. 

When the walker arose, the air went silent, tears were shed and the atmosphere dropped. 

Out from the woods was Connie, a pale Greg texture, red bloodshot dim eyes, and a chunk taken for her arm revealing the bone and flesh hanging from the hole taken from a walker. 

Steven cried for weeks after losing Connie, and shut himself out from the world, quite frankly it seemed others couldn't take it, Abandoning their duties at base such as guarding the place, in the end they were raided, and they had a causality not even two weeks after the loss of Connie. 

The raiders tore the place apart, from every nook and cranny, cornered everyone there before shooting a girl in the group, Peridot. She had thrown herself at them after they had picked up a possession of lapis' that just so happened to be necklace given from Peridot as an anniversary gift. The moments were to fast to steven to process, and uncalculated. And all he could see and hear in those blurry moments was the ringing of a gunshot and peridots lifeless body falling to the floor. 

The group fled after that, more scavenge hunts taking place due to loss of their supply and members growing scarcely low that even garnet was showing signs of stress now. 

When steven had turned ten, he felt responsibility out on him like he never had before, ready using a gun, joining the group on supply runs and even fending off walkers from base. 

Of course it didn't take long until they lost another, jasper had caught sight of a walker approaching steven, while he was there alone in the dark guarding the base camp. She had flung herself at the walker, all in dues time the zombies attention flicked straight to jasper and practically tore her shoulder off. Steven had screamed so loud he felt his voice go hoarse and strain with every last ounce of the screams he let out. Tears had flood down his face as he shot the walker to the ground, shivering, sobbing and hunched over the rasping, dying jasper. 

He had remembered the amount of blood that poured from jaspers shoulder, and how much flesh was gone, the bone that stuck through and that gruesome scene stayed burned in his mind, and haunted his dreams every night. 

Of course, he had to finish the job, and with a shaky breath he did. 

He shot jasper.  
\-------  
Steven pauses for a moment still hunched over and beginning to sob from the past experiences he suffered and the toll it took on his life, his hands tightening on the guns grip now.  
\--------  
A burial was given to jasper days after, and every day steven visited that grave, to drop off whatever flowers he found on supply runs or any form of a sweet gift he could find. 

Shortly after the group had to evacuate, after word spread of a deadly group in their area, and no matter how much he screamed and cried, they had to leave jaspers grave behind, just like lapis' mangled now reanimated body, connies' corpse laying outside the woods and peridots most likely rotting body kicked to the side by other scavengers. 

The next three years sailed smoothly to say the least, with only four left they needn't have worried much about wasting food, and they learned to ration their supplies well.

Garnet however, was now unstable as ever, constantly pacing around, and showing small head jerks and constantly stressed at any given time. 

When walkers began to over flood the place, the group gave up hope. 

They realised they would die among with everyone else and patientetly waited for the zombies to break through the barricades and test them to shreds. 

Steven and garnet however decided to put their survival instinct first and used every ounce of their ability to hold off the zombies and find a way out of this mess. 

When they had entered the barricaded room of where once was pearl amethyst, steven caught side of two dead bodies, a bottle of pills and their hands intertwined. 

Amethysts hair was spread over her face, a small line of her drool coming from her mouth and her eyes rolled back slightly. 

Pearls skin was paler than usual, her eyes also rolled back and drool from her mouth, their bodies were still and inanimate, but their hands still warm at the hold. 

A stifled sob came from steven as he saw his carers dead at his feet, and garnet sent the boy away, he leant against the door just enough to hear whatever cane from that side, as he stood outside the door, two single shots filled the air, each making him flinch violently.  
\------------  
Steven pauses again, now putting his hand to his mouth as more tears roll down his face and they burn the sides of his cheeks.  
\-------------  
Miraculously steven and garnet fled the scene with the most supplies they could grab. The weeks after that were quiet, solemn and downright lonely, it was spent averting herds, walking for days and covered in blisters suffering from sore feet and exhaustion. 

Steven had spent those days quietly trying to recollect himself from the trauma he endured over the past losses he suffered. 

They had finally found a place to call base, thank the stars, and quietly reserved there for some time. They spent their year there cooking, hunting, preserving what little food and water they had and holing themselves away from each other to mourn the people they lost. 

His fourteenth birthday comes to mind, as they sit at the fireplace quietly sipping water. Garnet smiled at the boy before pulling out a bottle only filled with a quarter of what seemed wine, and steven being steven let curiosity get the better of him and drank his whole glass.

For that day, and that day only they forgot about the world, about the people they lost and themselves and just spent it marveling at the fire and the stars, endlessly talking about what they would accomplish in their future and how they wish to pursue their dream should this nightmare ever end and die out. 

The nightmare only continued, as garnet had returned to camp, her eyes red and filled to the brim with tears as she rolled her sleeve to reveal a bite, on her arm. Steven and her had sobbed the day away, he was going to be all alone and lose the last person he had. 

The next few days were torture, steven got little to no sleep, only garnet on his mind, she got worse in appearance, her mouth hung slack, she grew more and more dehydrated and her skin turned a sickly pale. Until she could barely breathe and raspy noises just came from her nose. Steven had known what he had to do, and trembling, he held the gun to garnets head. 

And pulled the trigger.  
\--------------------------------------------

Steven begins to full on burst into tears now, relaxing the grip on the gun to let his tears stream down from his eyes and fall onto his lap. He begins to shaking from the violent flood of tears and hunches over more small hiccups coming from his mouth and wordless pleas for the ones he lived to come back. 

A small growling arises from the distance, and small crunches of leaves snaps steven back to reality, scrubbing the tears from his eyes and sniffling he turns his attention to the far out woods, squinting hard at the blurry far part in the forest. 

He looks down at his bag, unbuckling the latch and pulling out a singular bullet. Panicking, he reaches his hand into his bag, desperate for a second, but alas none were there. 

He brings himself back to the view ahead of him, a walker now arising from the shadows of the trees looming over it. 

He shakily applies the lone bullet to his firearm, pointing it towards the walker afront him. 

The walker lugs itself towards steven, its arm outstretched for Stevens body and growls and snarls coming from its mouth, its hunger panned eyes set on the fourteen year olds flesh. It continues to drag itself to the boy, only steps away from sinking its teeth into the boys shoulder. 

Steven shudders, gun still pointed at the walker, a small stinging comes to both if his eyes, the once blocked out memory of Connie rousing from the woodlands and directly staring down his whole group. 

He continues to shake slightly in his place, the firearm also shaking. 

Steven stares at the walker once again, only one thought dominating his mind, he shudders. 

He has a choice, and this singular bullet would determine it. 

He could shoot this walker, flee the woods and live his life on his own, no more groups, no more running away, facing his problems. It would be him and him alone, just steven against the world. 

Or.. 

He could use this bullet on himself. He would be out from this hell he often heard pearl famously requoting some man named Shakespeare, she often said "hell is empty and all the devils are here" at first he laughed, thinking it was silly how mythical creatures could be on this very earth, but after loosing everyone he loved, to walkers, suicide and even humans.. Steven finally realized what pearl meant. 

If he pulled that trigger, everything would be over, he could be with the people he loved with no worries about walkers raiders, the lot. Steven tenses slightly, his mind flickering between the two choices he has ahead of him. Live and go on? Or die and never look back on this wretched place?

As if in moments, his arm pointing the gun lowers down to his lap, and his head bends downwards, and begins lifting the arm again so the gun points to his head. 

He looks up again to the walker now only around two steps away from the boy. 

With the voices in his head, of pearl, amethyst, garnet, peridot, Lapis, Jasper and Connie, Steven hitches a breath, his chubby finger resting on the trigger and digging the guns end deeper onto his forehead. The walkers growls grow more fierce as it outstretched both arms pathetically lunging at Steven.

Steven doesn't even retaliate at the walkers harmful nature and only looks up one more time to see the zombies lifeless face as it continues to reach for the boy. 

His shaking begins to calm, no longer scared if the monster infront of him, steven collects himself, gulping audibly as a his finger rests harder on the trigger now. 

With a long sultry look at the walker, steven finally reverts his gaze to the ground, to see a currently blooming hibiscus. 

He smiles softly, one singular tear falling down now, rolling past his lips, and down through the gap of his legs onto the flower. He scrunches his eyes shut, adjusting himself and relaxes all muscles in his frail body. He let's go off all the pain, hurt and death he's experienced, the trauma he's been through and the people he's lost. He blackens out the world, the people hes known and lost, the ones he's come across and the walker infront of him now at this very second. In that moment its him and him alone. And for the first time in his entire existence, steven feels content. 

And so with a shaky breath, 

 

Steven pulled the trigger.


End file.
